Inside the La Croix wars: FIZZ vs Glaucus Research

We have the best correspondents here at Helytimes.  Anonymous Soda Lover tips us off to the story of FIZZ vs Glaucus Research.

FIZZ is the stock ticker symbol of National Beverage Company, which makes La Croix, the popular sparkling water, Joe Mande enemy, and indispensable hydration agent at Hollywood writers’ rooms:

Myself, I prefer the Perrier slim can, because it is thin and tall like me:

Plus a smaller amount of fluid to become hot in your hand.

But one way or another: Hollywood and indeed America and the world is full of addicts and compulsives who have to consume something constantly.  The beer-like but zero-cal zero sugar La Croix fills that hole.  Thus, there is an endless market for La Croix.

And indeed, look at National Beverage’s stock price over the last two years:

I cut out what happened this week, when this news came out:

Shares of National Beverage plunged as much as 15 percent on Wednesday after Glaucus Research revealed a short position in the company.

The short selling firm valued the parent company of LaCroix sparkling water at $16.15 per share, more than 65 percent below the stock’s Tuesday closing price of $46.48.

Glaucus’ note alleges that National Beverage “manipulates its reported earnings” as its “reported financial performance is inexplicable.”

Later on Wednesday, National Beverage issued a statement calling the report “false and defamatory.” The stock recovered its losses and ended the day down 8 percent.

“We believe that this ‘report’ was intended to severely manipulate our stock price downward in support of short sellers, whose short position has dramatically increased over recent weeks,” the company said.

First of all, “Glaucus”?  Their name comes from the glaucus.  Not the ancient Greek sea god:

But the freakish pelagic gastropod, also known as the blue sea slug:

From Glaucus Research’s website:

Glaucus Research, based in Newport Beach, CA, has a rep for bringing the hammer down on fraudulent mid and small-cap Chinese companies.  But this week, they dropped a report on FIZZ.

Glaucus alleges all manner of mischief by FIZZ CEO Nick Caporella.  At Helytimes we really believe that the first step in evaluating a company is seeing a picture of the CEO.  Unfortunately, we can’t find a confirmed pick of Mr. Caporella.

It appears that Nick Caporella personally owns 74% of FIZZ.

We do find this on FIZZ’s website:

Caporella’s letters have been weird before:

This non-English might make more sense when you remember FIZZ also makes Faygo, drink of choice of the Insane Clown Posse:

Now listen.  It’s not often that we at Helytimes recommend reading a 56 page report on the finances of a company, but this one is worth a look.  For example, have a look at Caporella’s letters to prospective National Beverage Co. buyer Asahi, in which he refers to himself as Nick-San.

Or what about this business about his “little jewel box”?:

FIZZ has hit back hard.  They counterattack at the website ReadTheTrueFacts.com.

Glaucus Research is straight-up about the fact that they are short La Croix and thus benefit if the stock goes way down.  From Wiki’s page about the glaucus atlanticus:

The Glaucus atlanticus is able to swallow the venomous nematocysts from siphonophores such as the Portuguese man o’ war, and store them in the extremities of its finger-like cerata.Picking up the animal can result in a painful sting, with symptoms similar to those caused by the Portuguese man o’ war.

You can find the latest on FIZZ here.  As of this writing, price is $43.32.  Glaucus values it at $16.15.

We’ll be watching this battle with interest, with a refreshing Perrier slim can, made by good ol’ Nestlé, in our hand.