Vertigo SucksPosted: November 16, 2013
1) I like many old movies.
Many of them* are “still” good, even though now-movies are faster louder and full of incredible innovations.
2) The cause of encouraging people to enjoy old movies is hurt when we pretend bad old movies are good.
If you’re on the fence about old movies, and you hear about one that’s supposedly good, and then you watch it and it’s boring nonsense, you might conclude “old movies are boring and shitty.”
3) Vertigo sucks.
It is boring to watch. The plot is ridiculous and implausible, multiple times over. This plot is explained in tedious, boring ways.
I absolutely concede that Vertigo might have been AMAZING when it came out in 1958, full of crazy innovations and sexiness. This shot, say – still very cool:
As cool as the paintings on old rides at Disneyland.
4) People pretend Vertigo is good for some reason. This is destructive.
It’s possible that these people just have different taste than me.
But I don’t think so. That’s how much I hated Vertigo. I believe it is either 1) old people who remember seeing Vertigo in 1958, and having their minds blown, which, fine I totally concede or 2) people who for some micro-cultural reason have bought into liking Vertigo as some kind of status indicator or something. Possibly uncharitable, I know, but understand: I hated Vertigo.
I don’t even not like Hitchcock. I would say Rope is 2x better than Vertigo. Psycho is better than Vertigo. So is North by Northwest which also doesn’t make a ton of sense. Rear Window is way better than Vertigo.
1) I only just saw Vertigo a couple days ago, maybe I would’ve liked it more if I saw before I’d seen, say 12 Years A Slave, Gravity, and The Counselor.
3) I’m wrong all the time
But I think this is an important cause.
Vertigo was voted in first place in Sight & Sound‘s 2012 poll of the greatest films of all time, both in the crime genre and in general, displacing Orson Welles’ Citizen Kane from the position it had occupied since 1962.
Ok: lists are stupid, deliberately provocative, Sight & Sound is a British magazine so maybe they are biased, and also who cares, and maybe, as Sight & Sound editor Nick James says, it might just be that critics love j. o.’ing to the idea of disguised/impersonated movie stars (paraphrasing).
The problem is that Citizen Kane is good. I think if you’d never seen Citizen Kane tomorrow and you watched it it would still be interesting.
By hyping Vertigo to youths, we encourage them to watch a boring piece of shit, and their conclusion will be “don’t trust the fuckers who say old movies are good.”
5) Don’t believe anyone who tells you Kim Novak is “sexy” in Vertigo.
The sexy one is tragic, confused Midge.