Ireland should take in two million refugees

I’ve developed a radical policy idea.  This is my position paper.

The Republic of Ireland should take in two million refugees.

Here’s my case.

Ireland is empty

Seriously, walk around the place.  There’s like nobody there.

Almost nobody

Here’s Ireland overlaid on Pennsylvania:

Pennsylvania has 12.78 million people.  Similar landscape and climate.

Ireland has 4.773 million people.

Ireland has fewer people today than it did in 1841.

Not busy

What a wild fact.  What other country is like that?  Can we really trust that 1841 census?

My source here is the Central Statistics Office of Ireland:

Ireland is empty because people moved away.

There were all the people that died in the massive famine.

But post-famine emigration is really what depopulated Ireland.  The whole story of Ireland is people moving away.

Even James Joyce looked for a life elsewhere.

The people of Ireland were themselves once refugees.  

They weren’t always looked fondly on either.

They were considered to be dirty and dangerous fundamentalists from a scary religion.

Now look at them.

“Her father, Alfred Roy Carey, was of African American and Afro-Venezuelan descent, while her mother, Patricia (née Hickey), is of Irish descent.”

Says The Washington Post:

According to the Census, there are 34.5 million Americans who list their heritage as either primarily or partially Irish. That number is, incidentally, seven times larger than the population of Ireland itself (4.68 million).

That’s just the USA.  There are something like two million Irish Australians and four millionish Irish Canadians.

What a great chance for Ireland to return the favor! 

What a cool national mission for Ireland!

And remember, we’re just restoring Ireland to its historical population level.

some people could live here

Possible counter argument:

But that will destroy the unique national character of Ireland!

Meh.

First of all, maybe they won’t, maybe they’ll adapt to it.  Or, as immigrants have done everywhere, offer new foods, traditions, ideas, and stir themselves into an overall blend.

You telling me Athlone isn’t happy to have Thai restaurant Kin Khao? Check out the reviews!

Second of all Irish culture is pretty darn resilient, there’s dudes in Southie three generations removed who’ve never visited the place who have shamrock tattoos and sing some fraction of the songs while they get drunk together.

Third of all Irish culture has been well-preserved already.

You can count on the Irish to do a fine job preserving.  source, shoutout to Wiki user Dilif

You can count on the Irish to do a solid preservation job.

(This song about boiling a policeman and spreading him like pavement is a fair example of Irish culture*.)

and

Frankly Irish culture could use a bit of a jolt.

Previous pinnacle of Irish culture?

Taking in two million refugees is a challenge.

But Ireland is up to it.  This country is one of the best ever producers of nurses, caregivers, teachers, cops.  It could be a a national project that would bring out the best in them.

You don’t think largely ceremonial president Michael D. Higgins could inspire and lead his countrymen in this task?

In conclusion, Ireland should take in two million immigrants.

Honestly it’s mostly sheep over there.

By the way, not asking Ireland to do anything I wouldn’t do myself.  You could argue California has already taken in two million refugees.  I haven’t crunched the numbers yet but I think we could take in a million more.

* I’m aware the song was written by a Scottish person

How big are the UK and Ireland compared to California?

The UK: 65.64 million people.  93,629 square miles.

California: 39.25 million people. 163,996 square miles.

Ireland: 4.773 million people.  32,595 square miles.

In 1841 the population of Ireland (just counting what’s now the Republic, not the whole island) was 6.53 million.

abandoned house near Killary photoed by Helytimes

Ireland is like a ghost town.

Today’s radical policy suggestion:

Ireland should take in two million refugees.  Much as the world once took them in.  It’s time to return the favor.  Two million refugees would return the nation to pre-1841 population.

Today’s question:

Are there other countries where the population is significantly smaller today than it was around 1840?

(maps via the great site Overlap Maps which is run by Sunflower Education, a publisher of books for homeschoolers)


The Irish comic tradition

source.  Barry McGovern / Johnny Murphy in Irish comic storyteller Samuel Beckett’s play

Just read this one.


It’s true.  Bannon, as presented in this book, is funny.  Makes it harder to dislike him.

At one point he describes Paul Ryan as

a limp-dick motherfucker who was born in a petri dish at the Heritage Foundation.

This vivid turn of phrase after speaking to an embattled Roger Ailes:

Bannon was surprised at his desperation.  “He was babbling,” he later told an associate.  “He was in the fucking mumble tank.”

Bannon’s key insight:

Monster, filthy, sick, beast – these are terms Bannon throws around as compliments, what bro doesn’t?  But on the other hand he starts to sound a lot like a dark wizard delighting in his devil-powers as he launches demons at the world.

Anyway, fast, entertaining and insightful book.

Was interested in the perspective of Peter Schweitzer, who wrote Clinton Cash.

Could you argue the same about journalists and Trump?  Both love Twitter.


The Ordnance Survey

 

A friend is going to Ireland to do some landscape painting.  I’m like, amazing.  Plus this is a guy who usually gets it with maps.  One day I sit down at my desk which has under its top an Ordnance Survey map of the Dingle Peninsula.

And I’m like oh friend make sure you get the Ordnance Survey map for where you’re going!

Why, he says.

Look, the Ordnance Survey Ireland website doesn’t have the smoothest experience.

But the treasures within!

Ordnance Survey Ireland is headquartered in the Phoenix Park.

The origins of the Ordnance Survey lie in the aftermath of the last Jacobite rising which was finally defeated by forces loyal to the government at the Battle of Culloden in 1746. Prince William, Duke of Cumberland realised the British Army did not have a good map of the Scottish Highlands to find the whereabouts of Jacobite dissenters such as Simon Fraser, 11th Lord Lovat so they could be put on trial.

They just missed him here.

You don’t want to have a map that marks every stone row and holy well?

A map that shows the ancient druid stones and the ruined churches like something a wizard would have?

good to have a waterproof map


St. Pats, 2017

Some classic coverage from the Hely Times archive:

The Irish Language in Montserrat

The Tain

Jack Yeats, Olympic Silver Medalist

James Joyce: Hot Or Not?

Best moment in Ulysses

Ainslie’s Complete Guide To Thoroughbred Racing

Patrick Kavanagh, and how to get a statue built of yourself

The Fields of Athenry

Can you help me ID Rob and Lou?

The Irish Rover

Luke Kelly’s Hair, Considered

O’Donoghue’s Opera – The Quest for an Irish Musical

Dublin Statues

Try this ancient pickup strategy at the pub!

Be safe!


Irish language in Montserrat

found here

found here

One thing leads to another and I’m reading about how there were black people on the Caribbean island of Montserrat who were said to speak Irish Gaelic:

Irish language in Montserrat

The Irish constituted the largest proportion of the white population from the founding of the colony in 1628. Many were indentured labourers; others were merchants or plantation owners. The geographer Thomas Jeffrey claimed in The West India Atlas (1780) that the majority of those on Montserrat were either Irish or of Irish descent, “so that the use of the Irish language is preserved on the island, even among the Negroes”.

African slaves and Irish colonists of all classes were in constant contact, with sexual relationships being common and a population of mixed descent appearing as a consequence.  The Irish were also prominent in Caribbean commerce, with their merchants importing Irish goods such as beef, pork, butter and herring, and also importing slaves.

There is indirect evidence that the use of the Irish language continued in Montserrat until at least the middle of the nineteenth century. The Kilkenny diarist and Irish scholar Amhlaoibh Ó Súilleabháin noted in 1831 that he had heard that Irish was still spoken in Montserrat by both black and white inhabitants. A letter by W.F. Butler in The Atheneum (15 July 1905) quotes an account by a Cork civil servant, C. Cremen, of what he had heard from a retired sailor called John O’Donovan, a fluent Irish speaker:

He frequently told me that in the year 1852, when mate of the brig Kaloolah, he went ashore on the island of Montserrat which was then out of the usual track of shipping. He said he was much surprised to hear the negroes actually talking Irish among themselves, and that he joined in the conversation…

There is no evidence for the survival of the Irish language in Montserrat into the twentieth century.

The wiki page for Amhlaoibh has several interesting quotes:

“February 3, 1828 …There is a lonely path near Uisce Dun and Móinteán na Cisi which is called the MassBoreen. The name comes from the time when the Catholic Church was persecuted in Ireland, and Mass had to be said in woods and on moors, on wattled places in bogs, and in caves. But as the proverb says, It is better to look forward with one eye than to look backwards with two…

Amhlaoibh lived out in Callan, in Kilkenny:

callan

Photo taken from “The Bridge”, Bridge St, Callan Co Kilkenny 2004 by Barry Somers

Nearby was born James Hoban, who designed The White House:

 Elevation of the north side of the White House, by James Hoban, c. 1793. Progress drawing after having won the competition for architect of the White House. Collection of the Maryland Historical Society.


Elevation of the north side of the White House, by James Hoban, c. 1793. Progress drawing after having won the competition for architect of the White House. Collection of the Maryland Historical Society.

On a trip to DC once I brought along this book, which I recommend to any DC visitor:

washington-itself

Applewhite might’ve been the first to put in my head the idea that the The White House is modeled on Irish country mansions:

The entire southern half of Montserrat got pretty messed up by volcanic eruptions and was abandoned in 1997:

montserrat_eruption

The former capital, Plymouth

And is now an “exclusion zone”:

montserrat-map

Montserrat’s national dish is Goat water, a thick goat meat stew served with crusty bread rolls.

found on the goat water facebook page

found on the goat water facebook page

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for more interesting oddities of Western Hemisphere geography and history, I recommend:

books in box

Available at Amazon or your local indie bookstore.


The Tain

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Had a couple spare minutes last night while I was waiting for some wood glue to set so I took down my copy of the Tain.

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That’s pretty cool.  How about this?

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Things go south for her:

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There’s definitely some cuts I might suggest.  Do we need this?:

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But there’s also some great detail:

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“Two thirds more.”  That precision and detail!  Can’t help but think the Tain guys are having a little fun with us.


Jack Yeats, Olympic Silver Medalist

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Before The Start

W. B. Yeats the poet had a kid brother, Jack Yeats, a painter.

DACS - FULL CONSULT; (c) DACS - FULL CONSULT; Supplied by The Public Catalogue Foundation

Early in his career he worked as an illustrator for magazines like the Boy’s Own Paper and Judy, drew comic strips, including the Sherlock Holmes parody “Chubb-Lock Homes” for Comic Cuts

DACS - FULL CONSULT; (c) DACS - FULL CONSULT; Supplied by The Public Catalogue Foundation

The Mystery Man

Jack Yeats won a silver medal at the 1924 Olympics (the Chariots Of Fire Olympics).  They used to give out medals in art and culture categories, and Jack won for The Liffey Swim:

Screen Shot 2015-06-01 at 9.45.42 AM

The juried art competitions were abandoned in 1954 because artists were considered to be professionals, while Olympic athletes were required to be amateurs.

Bring ’em back I say!


James Joyce: hot or not?

James Joyce

Talking the artist as a young man, not the old blind guy.  And, of course, bae (rnacle):

Nora B

How about this eerie family portrait?  bottom left is daughter Lucia, who got dance lessons from Isadora Duncan, fell in love with Samuel Beckett, and had Jung for a shrink (lotta good it did her):

Joyce familyTop right is son Giorgio.  “He spent his days in an alcoholic haze,” says The New Yorker.


Ainslie

Something put me in mind of this book the other day.

photo 2 (1)

I never made it all the way through, but it’s fun to take off the shelf.  I’m told by turf types this book is considered pretty good if slightly outdated as knowledge, but who cares?  It’s fun to read because Ainslie has wonderful style as a writer:

photo 1 (2)

Anyway, reminded me of a lyric from an Irish song I thought I remembered.

Turns out I was wrong?
photo

Maybe this song never existed?  Possible it did once exist, or better yet still does, as unGoogleable Irish ephemera, and I really did hear it once.  Or something like it, something close, and between my drunkenness when I heard it and the singer’s when he sang it there was a miscommunication.

Or maybe I was just thinking of this:


St. P’s

The story goes that one day Brendan Behan ran into Patrick Kavanagh on the streets of Dublin.  Brendan suggested a drink and unsurprisingly Patrick agreed. Patrick mentioned a nearby pub.

“Ah, can’t do it,” said Brendan.  “I’ve been banned from there for life.”   Brendan suggested an alternative.

“Ah, can’t be done,” said Patrick, “I’m banned from that one.”

So the two shook hands and went on their way.

Patrick Kavanagh, quite cleverly, wrote a poem describing exactly the kind of statue that ought to be built to commemorate him, and that’s what they built.

The actor Russell Crowe has stated that he is a fan of Kavanagh. He commented “I like the clarity and the emotiveness of Kavanagh. I like how he combines the kind of mystic into really clear, evocative work that can make you glad you are alive”. On 24 February 2002, after he won the BAFTA Award for Best Actor in a Leading Role for his performance in A Beautiful Mind, Crowe quoted Kavanagh during his acceptance speech at the 55th British Academy Film Awards. When he became aware that the Kavanagh quote had been cut from the final broadcast, Crowe became aggressive with the BBC producer responsible, Malcolm Gerrie.[22] He said “it was about a one minute fifty speech but they’ve cut a minute out of it”.[23] The poem that was cut was a four line poem:

To be a poet and not know the trade,
To be a lover and repel all women;
Twin ironies by which great saints are made,
The agonising pincer-jaws of heaven.

In this other picture on his wiki page, painted by Patrick Swift, PK looks a bit like Larry David: Lovelorn, tragic, Patrick Kavanagh wrote the poem which became the lyrics to the song “On Raglan Road,” sung here by the heroically haired Luke Kelly:

(previous HelyTimes on St. Ps: herehere and here)

 


The Fields Of Athenry

One Saturday afternoon in the East Village Boyland drank a couple beers and played this song a bunch of times and wouldn’t shut up about how great it was.

There were a couple of possible responses to this and I picked the correct one which was to drink a couple beers and agree with him.

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Years later I was in Ireland.  Dublin with RCK, then I rented a car and drove to Galway and points west.

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On my way, I passed by signs for Athenry.

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It looked boring.  I took a picture for Sean but I never showed it to him.  Why disappoint him?

IMG_0186It would not have surprised him anyway.


Request

Now that my readership has doubled 10,000, I would like to ask for everyone’s help.  Summer before last, in the legendary harsh Twelve Bens wilderness of western Ireland I met these people, and took this lovely picture.  I would like the Internet’s help in sending the picture to the photographed heroes.  Their names are Rob and Lou, and they live in Belfast.  Lou at one time worked in the schools of Kankakee, Illinois.  Those are all the clues I can provide.


Fashion Influence

Clancy Brothers & Makem:


The Pogues And The Dubliners – The Irish Rover

Was anyone ever uglier than Shane McGowan?  Not criticizing, just saying.

MacGowan claims to have been introduced to alcohol and cigarettes by his aunt on the promise he would not worship the devil. In a 2007 interview with the Daily Mirror he told a reporter: “I was actually four when I started drinking. I just remember that Ribena turned into stout and I developed an immediate love for it.” MacGowan says he tried whiskey when he was 10 and continued to drink heavily thereafter.

The wikipedia page on Shane no longer claims, as it once did, that his dental troubles were at least partially due to attempting to eat a vinyl record of “Sgt. Pepper” while on LSD.


Luke Kelly’s Hair

OK, wikipedia, gimme the tragedy:

On 30 June 1980 during a concert in the Cork Opera House Luke Kelly collapsed on the stage. He had already suffered for some time from headaches and forgetfulness, which however had been ascribed to his alcohol consumption. He was diagnosed with a brain tumor.

The subject of the song, btw?:

[Kelly] was dragged from his bed and hanged by British soldiers who decapitated his corpse and kicked his head through the streets shortly after the fall of Wexford on 21 June 1798.


O’Donoghue’s Opera (St. Patty’s Roundup, Finale)

In the 1960s, some impoverished Irish musicians and folk singers decided to put together an Irish musical.  Based on the balled “The Night Before Larry Was Stretched,” attributed to “Hurlfoot Bill,”* the film, “O’Donoghue’s Opera,” starred Ronnie Drew, later incredibly famous for his work with The Dubliners.  The film, left uncompleted when the makers ran out of money, was found in 1997 in a junk shop in Galway.

Now you can enjoy the entire film on YouTube.  I can’t encourage you to power through the whole thing.  But I think you’ll have some fun around 2:44 of Part 1, where some winning girls sing an old IRA recruiting song.  Then hop to 7:51 to see Larry’s cat burglar costume and the temptation that proves his undoing.

The stirring conclusion I have TubeChopped for you.

It is quite moving, really, to see Ronnie get hung.  This really happened to people all the time.

A great shame that I never had the chance to discuss this film with fellow cinephile/Hibernophile SDB, who was seemingly designed by the Almighty to enjoy this picture.

Elvis Costello recorded “TNBLWS” but I prefer the version by The Wolfe Tones:

* Wikipedia has some stern words on the subject of attribution for this song. 


St. Patty’s Roundup, #2

The statue of Molly Malone in Dublin is basically a sculptural softcore boobie pic for dudes who fetishize fishmongers, right?

Also of note in Dublin statuary, Oscar Wilde.  I mean, c’mon dude.  Sit up!  :


St. Patty’s Roundup, #1

A good pick-up tactic, from the Tain, as translated by Thomas Kinsella:

Nes the daughter of Eochaid Salbuide of the yellow heel was sitting outside Emain with her royal women about her.  The druid Cathbad from the Tratraige of Mag Inis passed by, and the girl said to him:

“What is the present hour lucky for?”

“For begetting a king on a queen,” he said.

The queen asked him if that were really true, and the druid swore by god that it was: a son conceived at that hour would be heard of in Ireland for ever.  The girl saw no other male near, and she took him inside with her.

She grew heavy with a child.  It was in her womb for three years and three months.

That kid, as you no doubt know, Reader, was Conchobor, who gets obsessed with Deirdre later on.  Bad idea, Con, she ain’t called “Deirdre of the sorrows” for nothing.